Here’s your ONE drop:
This isn’t new. Therapists use it. FBI negotiators too, life or death.
Mirroring.
It feels stupid when you try it. Like you’re mocking someone (which, technically, you are). Then it works. Painfully effective. Stupid simple.
How to do it:
Pick the hinge words. Don’t mirror bullshit. Mirror the emotional or decisive phrase:
I don’t have time for this → Don’t have time?
We need two versions by today → Two versions by today?
I already did the dishes → Did the dishes?
Say it like a question. Then shut the hell up (count to four in your head if you have to. Silence is key). If it doesn’t work, mirror again. Same move, new hinge words.
That’s it.
The technique works because humans can’t resist filling silence. Repeat their last few words and they’ll feel heard, slow down, explain, and usually talk themselves into your preferred outcome without you lifting a finger.
It feels manipulative. Like you’re tricking people. You’re not. You’re actually listening. Which is rare enough these days people don’t know what to do with it.
Try it with your partner. Your kid. Your boss. Doesn’t matter.
Don’t argue. Don’t explain. Just mirror. The silence will do more than your best argument ever will.
// Ann